Disrespect and bullying

How do you distinguish between disrespect and bullying?  I don’t think you do – disrespect can easily form part (or possibly all) of a bullying complaint.

Continuing my follow-up from WorkSafe Month webinar questions, today’s title is Disrespect and bullying and it relates to the following question that I received: How do you distinguish between disrespect and bullying?

Firstly, the definition of workplace bullying is repeated and unreasonable behaviour directed towards a worker or a group of workers that creates a risk to health and safety.  This then changes the question to; Can disrespect be repeated, unreasonable and cause a risk to health and safety?

The definition of respect that I use in my training sessions is:

Respect includes acknowledging, listening to, being truthful to and accepting someone’s individuality and idiosyncrasies.  Giving someone respect is similar to valuing them and their thoughts, feelings, etc.  Respect is taking someone's feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas, wishes and preferences into consideration. Taking all of these seriously and giving them worth and value.

Disrespect therefore could be: not acknowledging, not listening, not being truthful, not valuing and not being considerate to difference.  Could each of these be repeated – YES, could each of these be unreasonable – YES, do each of these have the potential to cause harm – YES

There is a quote by Ron McMillan, author of Crucial Conversations that I like to use in my training sessions;

Respect is like air. As long as it's present, nobody thinks about it. But if you take it away, it's all that people can think about.

I believe that once a behaviour gets into our head and consumes our thoughts it has the potential to cause harm.  So how do you distinguish between disrespect and bullying?  I don’t think you do – disrespect can easily form part (or possibly all) of a bullying complaint.

But to be honest, relying on a definition to decide if a behaviour is severe enough to be called bullying concerns me.  I understand that there needs to be an official definition for workplace bullying, but, regardless of what it is called – disrespect or bullying – if an individual is affected negatively by another’s behaviour then there is a problem and ALL parties need safety and support to address that problem.

If you or your teams need assistance dealing with workplace behaviours such as disrespect or bullying please contact us for a confidential chat